Neetha – Our Journey

We (Neetha & I) were both concentrating on our work items individually, of course being away. Her peculiar character of not checking messages or calls on time though annoyed me in the beginning questioning the necessity of a phone; I got habituated with this behavior. We did have a good exchange of texts and emails. She used to keep an eye on my status since I was looking out for a new job offer. This time bridged the gap between Ruthwik, Neetha’s hubby and I when we never got to speak a word in Darjeeling!

Not just this bond, the bond between my mom and Neetha also grew stronger. Mom was amazed by the fluency of language that Neetha portrayed on Telugu. They both started to interact often and had a few routine topics to connect – family and cooking!

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It was in Dec 2014 when Neetha called me to share the happy news from her end, though shocking strikes on me! She was moving to Copenhagen, Denmark to join Ruthwik who had traveled onsite for work. It was less than 20 days but she wanted to meet me before her departure. I then decided to pack my bags to meet Neetha at Bangalore before her departure. It was a pleasant surprise to meet Neetha’s mom in Jan 2015. Another inspiring model for a life time which made me realize that all MOMs are! Another good old friend from our circle also joined us, Sushant, which made the occasion even more special.

We decided to dine at a South Indian Restaurant within a short radius of Neetha’s home. While it was our turn to wait for the dining table, Neetha emerged closer and brushed me with a sigh of tightest hug and a kiss, just to ensure her sisterly feeling has been passed on since it was almost a year later that we had met each other. I for one felt the crowd had a visual treat than the one their taste buds were relishing! 😀

The night chit chats continued till the early morning aroma with the tiredness setting in. A few more funny conversations were caught with over a green tea after the late night nap! Bidding adieu was the most difficult challenge until date, but we had to do that since each other’s tasks ahead demanded our individual journeys’ start!

This was the second time we met but most contended and happy from both the ends. Time did not change the flavor of the bond through its ticking. She remained to be my Mother India (MoIn), I retained my title of ‘crazy little girl’. She had to move on to Denmark, and me, Madhya Pradesh for my Training!

The physical separation is beyond continents – how did this relation go further? Wait and watch…

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Positivity Personified

We meticulously learn by living examples than a well-constructed prose. Shweta is one from whom I learnt a lot or organizational and leadership skills and also the management of people. Coordinating a group of naughtier kids sounds relatively simpler when the task is to coordinate a group of youngsters. Just the mere missing innocence factor makes all the difference. One of the most important lessons learned during the training sessions at Madhya Pradesh.

Having an enriching experience of coordinating and organizing cultural and tech fests at school and college made me under estimate the skills required to arrange for a cultural event at the training session. I realized that not all approach any of the concepts portrayed with the same level of thought or acceptance. We have had ego clashes of ranks and thereby the listening / acknowledgement to a junior ranked thought by the senior one was shaky. When everyone is small, they carry with them the innocence; and as we grow up ego and pride overtakes every step of ours thereby making the innocence to be vanished off in the atmos.

When I was undergoing pain areas during this cultural organization, Shweta extended her psychological favor that uplifted me of my own thoughts and understanding of people’s mind. How we react and respond to any situation that blooms up is within our reach. Shweta has an administrative brain along with a diplomatic aura that keeps her shining from the crowd. She is simple, yet powerful. She is gentle, yet very positive.

I have also learned from her that losing temper will not take me anywhere with the milestones being ahead of me. Yes, I for one could be stripped off being angry for the toll of situations. But Shweta analyzes it well and plays her coins in such a way that she doesn’t allow herself to be angry of anything or anyone. She is an administrative aspirant that sinks in with patience and the right move at the right time, which is given a cent percent credit from my end.

One should not correct others by being a good leader. A good leader is one that will live by example and motivate to correct oneself by hunting through the journey within the self. Life’s most valuable lessons are better learned by the self than preached by external sources. She is one of a kind, especially for me. She became my pillar of strength. Shweta managed to hold the pillars high along with my parents who are doing it for me. She leaves me in awe to resonate her qualities of being simple, jovial, loving and caring, yet with an impactful intelligence!

Though I have my roots with a family that has cuddled administrators, lawyers, doctors and engineers; it is from Shweta that I associate my administrative skills. This way she turned to be my God Mother during my march for the civils preparations. As we became close, my doubts on how could anything be unconditional in this life kept springing up. Since there could be an emotional movement when the closeness if felt, but over time, I have always felt and believed that it will fade. Change is the constant law of nature.

What changes crept in between our deeply rehearsed relation of the mind? Stay Tuned…

The Bond – so strong…

The feeling of oneness did make its way in. Though I stay far from my home, Shweta never let me feel I was lonely as she became my other mom! She turned to be a guide, like my dad; best buddy, like my brother; above all a best companion with a friend in her! She made me feel complete even though my completeness remained to be my family. She became my family as she was very comfortable in sharing her thoughts and opinions with me, than others.

I did not get to judge her since I knew it wasn’t the right way for anyone, but she resembled my mom in all that she committed herself to. The patience from deep within, the compassion and empathy running in her veins and nerves, the wit and charisma that she carries gliding through situations to tackle them in the best possible way makes me echo that she is complete, just like my mom!

Though I have always cherished and liked short term relationships, than long, since the thought of what happens in case of a separation brings in lesser trauma in short lived ones; I know for sure that my mind and heart are in sync when it comes to Shweta. She has to be with me throughout for eternity, though we are not, like my family! I do not mind to think of this since the weirdest thoughts are sometimes the most practical ones (of course when emotion rules over)!

Silly fights, picking anger over Shweta, brain dumping with stories, sense of accomplishments during the training session, relishing the instant noodle cooking, and the women talk, bunking yoga sessions – the trip down the memory lane is as inspiring as the relationship was woven together. A college life relived! Shweta is not very close to anyone else than Anshika and I. Many a time I have given it a thought that it could be because of me – I have not given her the time and space to mingle with other members of the group. With a blink of an eye, months rolled by when it was time for all of us to move to Delhi. She was based out of Delhi too. Anshika, Rohan, Shweta and I headed to Delhi on Apr 22, 2015. This was for the next course of our training. It was a big change to adapt – from the greener pastures to the most concrete jungle. Shweta was allowed to visit home during the weekends (a consolation). During the training sessions she wasn’t allowed to since the rule was for everyone to stay in the hostel accommodation provided.

There came the first weekend that we had to stay apart when Shweta visited home. I tried to keep myself occupied with a few tasks passed on by Shweta, like book reviews for example! Did I ever realize that this change and loneliness is going to stick on to be a permanent one? No, I have not! There could be no reason why we will be together even post the training session and this could be one of those rehearsals that we need to get used to, than blame. The phase, altogether a different one, is having a new aroma. Let us wait with patience to inhale it deeply!!!

MOM – The Prime Source of All

Admiring the greatest potential of one of the verses from Taittiriya Upanishad which conquers Respects to Mother, Father, Guru and Guest as they are all forms of God!

Maatru Devo Bhava; Pithru Devo Bhava;

Aachaarya Devo Bhava; Athidi Devo Bhava; 

These primary roles of life are the most important to any clay that is getting molded along the journey. It is of relative nature and not absolute that who plays what in each of our lives. Yes, it is not absolute and cannot be equated to everyone. But the four roles keep popping up as we travel. Some travel along, some wrap up once their destination is reached, possibly before us or even after, which is beyond science to detail. A Mother dedicates her everything to express and bind the family with the extra love and care that everyone at home and surrounding her feels important and special. A Father proves to be the power house of motivation to step up and stay strong at all occasions. A Guru shows the path that is beautifully carved to take us not just through a journey that is beyond materials and pleasure, it is for generations to be built morally strong. A Guest shows us the form of God driving us to stay calm and patient enough to tackle through whenever arrived. On the whole, the package of these 4 roles could be played by anyone in all of our lives, but is played, in many cases, very well enacted!

The “Adi Para Shakthi” that represents the Sattva Guna and consort of Lord Brahma is the goddess of wisdom, creation, learning, compassion, peace, art and much more. With me and out of the three women that I was blessed with to color the canvas of my life, my MOM becomes the Adi Para Shakthi!

This woman I flavor was born in a small village called “Boningi” near the town of “Srirangavarapu Kota (S.Kota) of ViziaNagaram district of Andhra Pradesh. The blessed parents were Shri. Venkata Rao Inaparthi (Veeravasaram in West Godavari district) and Smt. SarojiniKoti from Mulaparru (West Godavari, Andhra Pradesh). Connected much to her father (like all daughters of course), she has been the youngest of all four siblings. Siblings getting offers those days to move to maternal or paternal grandparents place for education being common, my mom and elder aunt stayed back with their parents.

Mom’s father (my grandfather) was a Village Development Officer serving for the state with high moral values and discipline that took an appropriate post to serve the people. Being a Marxist and Socialist, he had always thought about and for people and their welfare is utmost importance. He received the title of “Guruvu Garu” in all hearts. Mom’s mother (my grandmother) hailing from a traditional family of values carried with her the pillar of support to supplement Granpa’s thoughts. She has been a complete and thorough home maker that Grandpa never had the slightest worry of the house when at work and even back home! A true role model to my Mom!

Balancing her boat with the respect that her father has earned through his living and the love that mom has inculcated, my mom relished the values through her upbringing. Values and Ethics were her nerves. Her childhood memories have always kept me envious though she has given me better than the best always and is still thriving to. My mom had excelled in her studies though she continued in the village itself and also gained equal interest and passion in extracurricular activities. The childhood pranks being the vitamin for the rest of the life, my mom treasures the stolen mangoes from her Uncle’ orchards, building mud castles and houses, bunking classes with truth quoted justification, tasting a delicious secretive jaggery and many others that remains fresh as discussed or revisited. Good is always to be balanced, not necessariy with the bad, has been my point from the start. Will see what life had poured and blessed my mom with and how it took a turn!

Stay tuned…

Meet my ‘Mo-In’ (Abbreviated name for Mother India)

Certain acquaintances in life don’t have a reason when we look forward. But they make a pristine sense when the dots are connected backward. One such meeting memory is Neetha – a young, energetic and enthusiastic woman from Bangalore that not just captured my heart but my complete family in less than a week and that’s what I believe is fate, for good! The staying together of this person had hardly been over a week till now, but she has created the deepest of the impressions in me not just by replacing my mother’s presence when she is not around, but also as a very good friend! Empathy, sympathy and integrity are the characteristics that distinguish my mom from all others and match with Neetha. They both are of the same wavelength which connects our bond.

There are very many resemblances to what ‘Mo-In’ and my Mother have gone through in their lives. Being father-less at a very young age and getting into the threshold of marriage has its own repercussions mentally which both these women have seen and experienced for their own selves. Facing all instances boldly and with all the courage in their nerves they have sailed through successfully and still confidently push it to their maximum limits.

Neetha takes the role of an elder daughter to my mother than being just my friend. She has understood the meaning and treasure of life and her way of living exemplifies that. She values people and emotions more than materials and money. She faces all problems with a vigor to resolve them since she ‘knows’ and believes that every problem has its own solution and that could be cracked under any circumstance. This character of hers amazes me and sprinkles in the strength to grow in life positively!

I have always thought relations built over short term might not last long, but she proved me wrong by constructing the mighty power bond, the knot of which took just over a week to be strengthened. It dates back to a medieval relation without much impact of technology wherein our hearts communicate with each other even without the modern signals. Yes, we connect over phone or messengers very sparsely, but have never felt the thinning of our relationship. Her action, caring attitude, resolving nature and managing with simplicity are just beyond perfection and admiration! Her support to me and my mom, as a friend, daughter and sister is being valued equally and prayed upon to last long. Such integral and mutual relations are more to be experienced than just elaborated. Thanking Neetha and Ruthwik (Neetha’s husband) profusely for the creative and lovely bond that they have extended to me and my family!

“The true Hot and Sour Flavor of my life – Shweta”

Oh Yea, that rings a bell deep in our stomachs with the flavors of spice and sour and the aroma from vegetables with melting cheese! I know it does and so it does to me when I think of Shweta – the person whom I consider as one of the wonder filled woman of my life. The unseen connection, an invisible emotional factor was felt when we first met during my training and the bond continues strong as our background matches up and the quest for Civil Services tied the knot even stronger! I believe her capacity to handle things differently and with maturity have been cascading from being the elder most of the siblings which helps me a lot in turn! Being the eldest myself, I take an upper hand with her because of her well molded maturity! “Right and then first left” were my directions to her on our first short meet without knowing that it will end with directing our lives!

What drew me closer to Shweta was her dedication to tasks that concludes with no less than perfection, not letting her ‘newly wedded bliss’ emotional  tag overrule her practical passion towards Civil Services and its Training. When it comes to her planning, I take a step back to admire not just her targets but also the steps to target and plan. She considers targets as a totality and does not delineate it in any angle. She spins herself 360 degrees to think it through and plan, which probably drives her to the perfection mark! I feel we have a lot in common and can connect to very easily. The entrepreneurial spirit that burns within will keep the health competition leaping forward. Our thoughts and the thought processes are connected, not virtually, but extra sensory’ly, if I can term it so!

Than just drawing closer to each other, I draw a Himalayan strength from her and her abilities and consider myself blessed for having met her in life. While I use moments to take a decision and minutes to act upon it, she considers it holistically and then spends the required amount of time to decide and act. A learning-1 for me! My mind, when it doesn’t listen to me, it does to Shweta, that though becomes a canny interval at times (pun intended), and helps me calm down, not just to emerge as a winner externally, but as a winner-of-the-self! She has shown me the path of a leader, and not just a winner or a successful person. To lead is to effectively lead yourself and many others, while winning is self-centralized!  She has been and will continue to be the perseverance factor behind my Civil Services preparation, by enlightening my projects and ideas.

‘Thank You’ doesn’t seem the phrase to be even though a heart full of wishes and prayers go out to Shweta at this very moment (Oh yea, The Lord Jesus and Shweta’s b’day falls on the same day). I will do my best to make her proud and also dedicate whatever small I could to her and her efforts! Hats Off!

Many more Happy returns of the Day dear !!

The most special “HER” – Yes, My MOM!

Everyone reading or glancing through this post would certainly recall and connect to this moment in their lives. Talking of your ‘MOTHER’ either to yourself or to someone else is inevitable owing to the innumerable sacrifices that she is assured to create for her family and many a time for her kids. With the Three Wonder Woman of my life, am bound to unravel the memory thread that I share with my MOM. Am sure you would appreciate it and not just stop with that, but go an extra mile to THANK your MOM for having been that resilient pillar of your life.

The best person I have ever known and been associated with – the strength and stamina that she portrays mesmerizes the vicinity around, suffering a personal loss of father during her teens, picking up of responsibilities of her siblings and mom, has always nailed in the zero difference between being a male and a female deep into my brains right from the childhood! I thank her profusely for showing me what perseverance and persistence really meant through her own way of life.

Moving away from a family of her own to create another shelter for her and her ‘new’ immediate family had been quite challenging as it always remains to be per our traditions and customs. The close to three decade relationship has rooted like the banyan tree and the family’s branches are well supported through the three lettered mantra – MOM!

The shift between family and emotions has not been gradual always but I have seen my mom handle it with peace and calmness. The serenity she has instilled in our ‘home’ is still afresh with her innumerable efforts. When the foundation of any home goes under control the pillars are stressed for morality. I have never had this experience of our home going down for values or morale!

These are external scenarios that could unleash the shackles of stress and depression. When your own body acts again and turns positive for a carcinoma breast, it is when you start seeking strength and courage externally. When my mom was undergoing deep troubles, she was the one to extend positivity, hope, radiance, strength, courage, stillness and peace in all others. I have not seen her derive her strengths from the outside; it has always been from her inside. One of the best examples of an inward journey!

It was not just a personal care that she had extended by taking care of herself under stress filled circumstances, she had taken care of her family and all of us by staying strong. She had her responsibilities strongly built in her mind and heart! She did not stop with just that, she went ahead to join the hospital awareness team for the dreadful disease and has been inspiring many others ever since, by being a living example! An exemplary effort indeed!

I still see my MOTHER as a burning candle for our family tree. Many other forced situations for her mom, mom-in-law, for her own self trying to keep her the best at all times even though she keeps encountering struggles. Though they are seen as opportunities by my MOM, I pray silently that’ she earns some peace for all that she has selflessly done! To put up a smile as though everything is still and normal has been her nomenclature ever since I have known her. I wish sincerely that her smile remains forever, but without the clause of problems! LOVE YOU MOM!

”Being Her” – The Best of My Life!

Being the best in life is always relative and hence the phrase “better than the best” was coined. Yes, being superlative is not just relative but absolute as well because of it covering an ideal scenario. Many a time it is unachievable since ‘betterment’ is a way of life. Considering this into account, I am going to do ‘my best’ to project the best part of my life. Not something that I have resorted to earlier, but something that I have lived through and experienced. Not a biography, but a cherished memory!

Projecting and sharing someone else’ influence in our lives though is a common occurrence; it takes that little step to write and preserve those memories and guidance not just for our own selves but for the generations to come. The flair to bring to light the “Three phenomenal Women of My Life” is the motto of the “Best of My Life” series, which will see a complete shift from what I have been writing on my shell subjects!

It is a small tribute that I pay to those great souls that have made me into a value-filled human being than just being a mere social animal. Another note is to value relationships in our lives and to increase not the M-vitamin value but the emotional bond-value with people around and near us. Through the relationship I share with these three women, I wish to also share with my fellow friends here, the importance and value of money in our lives, and not to treat it as a ruling factor of life, but just an option to lead lives the way it is ‘needed’ by us!

Special and unforgettable emotions that I have esteemed with these three wonder-filled women will prove that ‘Love’ conquers money and all materialistic pleasures of life. Relationships are not our ‘investment markets’. Relationships treasure the investment of each other’s time to create values, habit, emotions, love, trust, wisdom, clarity and bond the evaluation of the ‘I’ as an ultimatum of the Supreme.

To find time has become our top most priority and if we are successful, to invest it with our loved ones proves to be the toughest bet since the other goes through the same vicious cycle. To achieve this balance between relations and gain momentum takes time indeed! This series of articles will talk through the relationship that I still cherish and look back & also aim to create strides in the circle that I have gained here. It doesn’t aim to have high ending impacts, but a simple satisfaction of having ‘you’ apply simple calculations and values to treasure blood-filled relationships than paper-filled! It is not a following, but once again a sharing, prioritizing people and values over money and material.

Stay Tuned to Live through “Being Her”…….